What Did I Miss?

0085 meI can never remember the blogging rules. When returning from a hiatus, do you acknowledge the absence, or just dive back in as though you were never gone? Or are you supposed to hang up your Gone Fishin’ sign before slipping out the backdoor? If it’s the latter, that could be a problem for me since I generally don’t know when I’ll go off the grid until I’m well into the thick of it. Continue reading →

The Duden Abides

0079 Duden 2Remember that time I wrote a post about schadenfreude? If you said yes, you already know that I have a bit of a “thing” for words. If you said no, then you obviously haven’t been keeping up with me, because I wrote about it on my last post. And although my feelings are terribly hurt by your neglect, for the sake of everyone else, I’ll do my best to soldier on and won’t cause a scene.
Continue reading →

When It’s Better Not To Know What You Don’t Know

There are things I don’t know (I realize that’s a lot to spring on you right out of the gate and without any warning, but please save your shocked gasps and incredulous whispers for the comments section, thank you). Within that group are things I know I don’t know, like how string theory works and if it requires some kind of special quantum string or if any old string will do; and things I don’t know I don’t know … for instance, the amount of time one remains in “stealth mode” after taking one of the invisibility pills recently developed by a shadowy government agency. In order to know I don’t know that, I’d have to know if such a pill exists, and I don’t. So I can’t know what I don’t know because I’d have to know to know. Continue reading →

Best Grass In The Barony

0062 estateAs the sun begins to set over the charming little village nestled in the rolling hills of my barony, I can usually be found on the balcony of my palatial country estate. More often than not, I’ll be joined by a handful of villagers or a few invited guests. There we’ll sit, talking and laughing, until the show begins. When that happens, the talking stops.
Continue reading →

When You Have Children You’ll Understand

There are those who seem to feel that people without children live in a washed out, black and white world unable to enjoy the vivid palette of emotions and experiences known to those who have spawned. Some biological event takes place when these once-normal folk become parents, rendering them virtually incapable of interacting normally with child-free people.
Continue reading →

Anything Can Happen Sunday: 7th Grade Diary Edition

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned something about sharing a few excerpts from my 7th grade diary. A0059 LTS 2nd what better time to do that than on Anything Can Happen Sunday? So pop open a Tab, put on your Dittos and feather your hair, because I’m going back to 1978 and I’m taking all of you with me! Continue reading →

Why Isn’t There A Menopause Movie?

AAN3PYOne day, when I was in the 6th or 7th grade, the boys and the girls in my class were separated and shown “the film.” The main thing I remember about “the film” was that it didn’t live up to the hype. Unlike Red Asphalt, the movie we were shown a few years later in Driver’s Ed and which was very likely the cause of more than a few cases of PTSD.
Continue reading →

The WCOID – Day 24, On Being So Bad It’s Good

0052 number 24The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 24
Cringe-worthy 7th Grade Prose

Anyone who considers him or herself a writer of any kind, has likely heard some version of the advice “write what you know.” Simple advice, and good advice, in my opinion. But when I was in junior high, no one had yet passed that little bit of wisdom along to me; or someone had, but I’d decided, as kids will, that it didn’t apply to me. Continue reading →

The WCOID – Day 23, On Terminal Mortification

0051 number  23The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 23
What could have happened to you in high school that would have altered the course of your life?

I skipped over this writing prompt a few times. But after discovering all my old notebooks and diaries, I thought I’d have a better perspective on what I was like and which paths I might have taken. Mostly what I discovered, however, was what a colossal dork I was. I found myself so mortified at times that I couldn’t finish reading certain passages. Continue reading →

The WCOID – Day 22, On Pen Names and Time Machines

0050 number 22The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 22
Anything Can Happen Sunday!

If you woke up with a smile on your face and a feeling that today is special, it’s probably because you remembered that today is Anything Can Happen Sunday. Widely regarded as the best day in blogging, ACHS is a proud Pucker Up Buttercup tradition, the origins of which have been traced back as far as two weeks. When I tell you how we’re going to celebrate Anything Can Happen Sunday, you’ll be saying, “Gosh! I guess anything really can happen!” Continue reading →