Archives For Humor

Growing Old Awkwardly

August 20, 2016 — 7 Comments

122 Where-do-I-liveOne of the weird things about being a lesbian, and I assume the same holds true for gay men and others of a non-heteronormative persuasion, is that there’s really no societal rules to obey or milestones to reach. For instance, I’ve never looked at my watch and thought, “Oh shit! I didn’t realize how late it was. I better hurry up and find a husband!” And although things are much different now, it wasn’t all that long ago that no one would have thought to ask when I was going to get around to birthing some babies. Back then, lesbians just had dogs. Now we’re collecting babies like they’re on sale at J. Crew. Continue Reading…

We’re Not Number One!

August 17, 2016 — 3 Comments

digits-705666_960_720For far too long there’s been a feud between lesbians and bisexual women … sort of an LGBT Hatfields and McCoys. Some lesbians apparently think that bisexual women are just refusing to admit that they’re actually gay and claim to be bisexual to keep a foot in the hetero word. And there are those who warn that bisexuals always go back to the D. As one who’s been dumped for both the D and the V, let me just say for the record that they both suck. Finally there’s the camp that says being in a relationship with a bi woman means making allowances for her to dabble in her other gender attractions. Continue Reading…

Every time someone in the LGBTQIAXYZLMNOP community comes out, a unicorn poops a rainbow!

One afternoon, I was relaxing in the shade of one of the big trees on my country estate and watching some of the village children play on the hillside below.

Continue Reading…

Haters Gonna Hate

June 20, 2016 — 2 Comments

gay jesusI find it very difficult to understand the level of anger and hatred some people have toward the gay community. I understand that there are folks who find the thought of two men or two women kissing icky or unpleasant (mostly two men, though … the public seems to have a strong fascination with most girl-on-girl activity). But I don’t see how that discomfort turns to rage and loathing. Some people find sushi distasteful, but they don’t hate sushi fans or want to beat them up or deny them rights because of the cuisine they enjoy. Continue Reading…

writingIf I had my druthers, I’d write in long hand. My thoughts seem to flow better, I have something tangible to show for my work and I don’t edit myself while I’m writing as much as I do when I’m typing.
Continue Reading…

Pride-ParadeHere we are, heading into the second week of June, and I haven’t even started my Gay Pride Extravaganza shopping yet. It seems the holiday season just sneaks up on me somehow. In the Spring my brain is all anticipatory and abuzz with party plans and gift lists and then BAM! I’m midway through June without a single thing done.
Continue Reading…

scale 2I woke up fat not long ago. Not Lifetime Network and TLC fighting for the rights to my story fat, but definitely heavier than I’ve ever been. And logically I know it happened over time, but the older I get, the faster time seems to fly. Remember how long it took to go from your 16 year milestone of getting a driver’s license to your 21 year milestone of being able to drink legally? Eons! I had to drink illegally for years just to cope with time’s refusal to hurry the hell up. Those were the slowest five years of my life. Do you know how long the most recent five years took to pass? About 37 minutes. At this rate I’ll be dead before I finish this post. Continue Reading…

My Mother, My Killer

February 15, 2016 — Leave a comment

Whether it’s tNitaUpLakehe way it really happened or simply the way it’s been remembered, I can’t say for sure. But family history has it that my mother was so enamored and protective of me that she didn’t let anyone — including my father and grandparents — hold me for the first six weeks of my life. So it’s not surprising that at an age when other babies were being potty-trained and learning to walk, I was perfecting my ability to manipulate my mom in order to get anything my devious little heart desired. Continue Reading…

0091 human_heartIn about a week, the blogosphere will be neck deep in Valentine’s Day related posts. From the loved to the lonely, the damaged to the dreamers, the haters, the lovers, the bitter, the giddy, the cynics and the believers — every opinion, reaction, experience and emotion will be represented and documented. You won’t be able to swing a last minute, leftover bouquet of wilted flowers without hitting a Valentine’s Day post. Continue Reading…