Archives For Funny

Growing Old Awkwardly

August 20, 2016 — 7 Comments

122 Where-do-I-liveOne of the weird things about being a lesbian, and I assume the same holds true for gay men and others of a non-heteronormative persuasion, is that there’s really no societal rules to obey or milestones to reach. For instance, I’ve never looked at my watch and thought, “Oh shit! I didn’t realize how late it was. I better hurry up and find a husband!” And although things are much different now, it wasn’t all that long ago that no one would have thought to ask when I was going to get around to birthing some babies. Back then, lesbians just had dogs. Now we’re collecting babies like they’re on sale at J. Crew. Continue Reading…

I’m neck deep in my 1000 Stories project and don’t have time for a post, so here’s another animation masterpiece to keep you entertained.

Every time someone in the LGBTQIAXYZLMNOP community comes out, a unicorn poops a rainbow!

My Mother, My Killer

February 15, 2016 — Leave a comment

Whether it’s tNitaUpLakehe way it really happened or simply the way it’s been remembered, I can’t say for sure. But family history has it that my mother was so enamored and protective of me that she didn’t let anyone — including my father and grandparents — hold me for the first six weeks of my life. So it’s not surprising that at an age when other babies were being potty-trained and learning to walk, I was perfecting my ability to manipulate my mom in order to get anything my devious little heart desired. Continue Reading…

0087 bucket 1I don’t have a bucket list. There are places I’d like to visit or re-visit, and a few things I want to try, many of them legal. But if that last day comes and I haven’t done them all, I’m not going to flounce out of the room in a huff, declaring my entire life a waste of time as I slam my bedroom door, fling myself on my bed and die … either out of spite or because flouncing and flinging can be dangerous in one’s twilight year Continue Reading…

Schrödinger’s Joke

April 21, 2015 — 4 Comments

While filling my tank yesterday, I saw a woman leave the gas station’s attached convenience store carrying two enormous cups from the soda fountain. As she got closer she told the man at the pump next to mine that the drink he wanted wasn’t available, so she’d gotten him something else instead. Before he had a chance to reply, she slipped on something. She managed not to fall, but did instinctively raised her arms to maintain her balance, which caused her to squeeze one of the cups she was holding and sort of fling the other one a towards the man. He wasn’t hit by the refreshing airborne beverage, but a fair portion of the squashed soda did end up on her.
Continue Reading…