Riddle me this, Batman … Why is it that when people can no longer see the tiny print in the newspaper or make out the dishes on offer on a menu, they’ll take a trip to the optometrist to get their eyes checked. Or, at least, pop down to the local drug store and pick up a pair of readers. However, when their ears start to show the same signs of wear and tear, they stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that they might need a little outside assistance in the hearing department. Or, is this something unique to my parents?
About five, maybe six, maybe more, years ago I moved into my parent’s house to help them out, as they’re getting older and, apparently, I’m not. In exchange, I pay no rent and am free to write to my heart’s content. I know. It’s a pretty sweet deal. Continue reading →
I know I’m arriving to the party late on this one. It’s a Facebook post that’s supposedly real and I’m going to go with that assumption. Although, the internet and social media being what they are, you can take it with a grain of salt or two if you choose. The post in question is dated September 22 (no year). So with today being August 1, 2019, (and excluding the possibility of time travel) that makes it at least a year old. It could be even older. I have no idea. Perhaps it’s been floating around for years and you’ll all be shaking your heads and going, “Seriously Baroness? This is the first time you’ve seen this?”
Anyway, it’s a rant from a woman whose trip to Disneyworld was ruined, absolutely RUINED (she made liberal use of all caps, so I thought I should follow along), by the presence of Millenials and childless couples — or, more specifically, childless women. But, I’ll let you read it for yourselves. Continue reading →
Whether it’s the way it really happened or simply the way it’s been remembered, I can’t say for sure. But family history has it that my mother was so enamored and protective of me that she didn’t let anyone — including my father and grandparents — hold me for the first six weeks of my life. So it’s not surprising that at an age when other babies were being potty-trained and learning to walk, I was perfecting my ability to manipulate my mom in order to get anything my devious little heart desired. Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 20
No prompts, I’m free-wheeling!
I was waxing nostalgic with my dad not long ago because listening to him talk about his childhood makes me feel somewhat less ancient by comparison. It also got me thinking about what had changed, aside from clothes, hair styles and music, since I was younger. I think most of what I miss, and what makes feel bad that today’s kids won’t have, are experiences or feelings rather that things. That is, I don’t think it’s sad that taking music “to go” no longer requires a fanny-pack full of cassette tapes and extra batteries. But it’s a bit of a shame that they won’t feel the joy of going to Licorice Pizza and finding that elusive album they’d been searching for. It’s also a little sad to realize that many have no idea why it was even called Licorice Pizza. Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge Of Indeterminate Duration – Day 12
The toy you most treasured.
I still have the first toy I ever got. I don’t remember much about getting it because I had just been born that morning and was more concerned with why I was no longer in the warm, floaty place and the manner by which I’d been extracted. Seriously, if you’re go to the trouble of putting in an exit, make sure it’s big enough to actually fit through. Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge Of Indeterminate Duration – Day 9
Start a story with the line “My mother broke every plate in the house that day.”
My mother broke every plate in the house that day. I wasn’t surprised that she was frustrated and angry, but she had always been a yeller, never a thrower or breaker. This was something new.
Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 6
Tell a complete stranger about a beloved family tradition
Although I’m from what I consider a traditional family – – mom, dad, house in the suburbs, 2.5 children (my younger brother was born without his right-side, it’s not something we generally talk about), we didn’t have many traditions when I was growing up and we have even fewer now. We tried to Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 3
What does writer’s block feel like?
A better topic for me at this point might have been what does it feel like to write about writer’s block when you have writer’s block? Maybe I’ll refer to this experience tomorrow and write about one of my favorite things: irony. Continue reading →
The Writing Challenge of Indeterminate Duration – Day 2
The closest you ever came to drowning.
I remember hearing or reading or hallucinating that death by drowning is a rather peaceful way to go. And based on my own experience of nearly drowning, I believe that assessment is what’s typically referred to as “complete and utter bullshit.” Unless, of course, your definition Continue reading →
Have you ever forgotten something you know you know? Or failed to put two and two together because you didn’t have a calculator handy or, like me, you’re pretty good at readin’ and writin’ but are a bit ‘rithmetically challenged? Continue reading →