I guess I’m not doing the greatest job of resurrecting poor Pucker Up. But in my defense (what? I’m not being defensive, you’re being defensive!), I have been busy writing and doing other projects. That’s unusual for me because generally when I go on hiatus, it’s because I’m in avoidance mode.

I’ve got a profile out on Upwork and I’ve been getting some freelance work via the site, some writing and some animation. I just finished an animation gig that I’d love to share, but the client hasn’t posted it yet, so I can’t leapfrog him and debut it before he does. But, all in good time. I’ve also been doing my fair share of ghostwriting, which I can’t talk much about because I signed non-disclosure agreements. I find that my writing seems to be more popular with European than American clients, although I couldn’t begin to guess why.

Those of you who’ve been following Pucker Up for any length of time might find it interesting to learn that I’ve entered the world of children’s writing, which is something of a detour from the content you’ll find out here. Not that my blog warrants an NC-17 rating, but it is peppered with fucks and twats and my middle-aged lesbian musings. All things which would not be likely to increase sales of my kids’ books, so I’ve learned to avoid them.

To date, I have three books on Amazon (self-published because, dammit!, getting real published is hard), The Raspberry Sassafras series, about a cow who leaves the farm to live in a luxury, high-rise condo in the big city. I’m a better writer than I am a marketer, so they’re not exactly selling like the proverbial hotcakes. But they’ve received some nice reviews, so at least someone is reading them!

I’ve also got another gig going where I write and illustrate custom children’s stories and books. And not one of those easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy operations with a couple of boilerplate stories where a few details are switched out to “personalize” them. I collect all kinds of info on the kid and write a unique and original story each time. Between the writing and the drawing, it’s fairly time-consuming. But people are excited when they get a real, hard-cover book-book, and not just an e-book or PDF, so that makes it all worthwhile.

Finally, I’ve been trying to get my own freelance operation up and running through another website I set up. But again, being better at writing (and setting up websites) than marketing, I don’t really know how to drive traffic to it now that it’s done. So I like the way it looks and it makes me feel all professional, but people aren’t crashing the internet trying to hire me. Also, I’m sorry I can’t link you to the new site, but it would reveal my real name, thereby blowing the whole Baroness Buttercup persona. You understand …

So, while being productive isn’t a real excuse for not posting again sooner, I feel less guilty than if I’d been “busy” watching Law & Order: SVU marathons and eating cheese doodles. Which isn’t to say I haven’t been watching Law & Order: SVU marathons and eating cheese doodles. I just wanted you to know that it’s not all I’ve been doing.