I can never remember the blogging rules. When returning from a hiatus, do you acknowledge the absence, or just dive back in as though you were never gone? Or are you supposed to hang up your Gone Fishin’ sign before slipping out the backdoor? If it’s the latter, that could be a problem for me since I generally don’t know when I’ll go off the grid until I’m well into the thick of it.

Turning back time isn’t possible (seriously … even Cher can’t do it; and if she can’t, then nobody can) and I’ve already blown my whistling-casually-like-nothing-happened wad, so I’m left with the acknowledgment option. And I believe the first couple of paragraphs fill the requirements of that obligation, so we’re good to go!

Or, we could talk about it a bit more. Unlike the last time I fell off the edge of the Earth, the primary activity of this blogging break wasn’t a year and a half of lying in bed having dark thoughts for 20 hours a day. Because no one, and least of all me, needs to sit through a repeat of that performance. Although, if I could get John Woo to direct my next bout of depression, it would still suck, but in a visually stunning way.

This time I got side-tracked by some other creative endeavors, which feels like a positive thing because it means I’m not just a one-trick pony. Although I know I’m really only good with the main trick and the others need a bit (a lot!) of polish. But you can judge that for yourself, because before I completely let my blogging mojo loose, I thought I’d share a bit of what I’ve been up to with you.

Since my last post was regarding the poem that a very talented young woman on Fiverr.com turned into a song for me, let’s start with my Fiverr Gigs. To be clear, my success on Fiverr isn’t anything like let’s-build-a- monkey-sanctuary-in-the-backyard success. It’s more along the lines of upgrade-me-to-the-10-piece-McNuggets success. But it’s fun and gives me a way to express myself with terrible art.

What I find most curious is that the majority of my sales have been in the area where I’m least talented and have zero experience. I’m hoping it marks a new popularity in awful animation, because then I could totally get to work on that monkey habitat.

Most recently I tripped over Didlr.com and took it as a sign that I should share my lack of artistic talent with the world. So I’ve been showcasing my preschool level artwork there as well. In fact, one of my early submissions was selected as The Featured Didl … so if I didn’t believe in signs before, I do now! Either that, or they were mocking me …

Of course, like most great artists, I don’t expect to be truly appreciated until after I’m dead, so tell your children and grandchildren to keep an eye out for when I’m finally “discovered.”

The only writing I’ve done lately has been updating my Facebook status which, while hilarious and thought-provoking, doesn’t quite quiet the blogging jones. Because it’s what I like the most, I promised myself I’d get back on a regular writing schedule again, starting with this post. But until I publish my next one, please feel free to peruse some of my bad art and animation. If nothing else, it will give you a deeper appreciation of real talent.

Click Here for rudimentary drawings!

Don’t bother making popcorn, the movies are very short …

Down On The Farm

Kungfusion

Carpet Pet

Rhino No-No!