For far too long there’s been a feud between lesbians and bisexual women … sort of an LGBT Hatfields and McCoys. Some lesbians apparently think that bisexual women are just refusing to admit that they’re actually gay and claim to be bisexual to keep a foot in the hetero word. And there are those who warn that bisexuals always go back to the D. As one who’s been dumped for both the D and the V, let me just say for the record that they both suck. Finally there’s the camp that says being in a relationship with a bi woman means making allowances for her to dabble in her other gender attractions.
Personally, I don’t buy the last one. If it happens, I’d have to put it in the same category as blue balls. Being in a committed relationship regardless of orientation means that you’re committed to that one person no matter who else you might find attractive. Being attracted to blondes and brunettes doesn’t mean that your dark-haired woman has to allow you to seek out the occasional fair-haired honey.
There are relationships where one player is bisexual and is allowed to explore her sexuality, but it seems to be more with husbands and boyfriends giving their girl the freedom to run loose amongst the ladies. And I bet every lesbian reading this has at least one friend-couple that started as innocent exploration and blossomed into a full-blown relationship, leaving the generous husband scratching his head and wondering if his wife had always been a lesbian. It happens more often that you think.
Personally, I like the bisexual women. They know all of the awesome things about women and don’t make the “Eeewww!” face if I say sex with guys wasn’t some kind of torture I endured, but was actually pretty decent sometimes.
Anyway, I didn’t start this intending to write about bisexual women. But sometimes my ATT (Adult Tangential Tendency) kicks in and I go flying off in some other direction.
So back to the topic at hand. I’ve got no beef with bisexuals, but the transgender community has me crossing my arms and stamping my little feet.
The lesbians were enjoying such a nice run. We were hip, we were fashionable, everyone wanted one of us as a bestie, or at least a member of their immediate social circle. We were different, we were mysterious, we could flirt with straight women in a way that made them feel pleasantly uncomfortable.
Movies were being made with lesbian characters. And not just indie lesbian flicks like Go Fish … which is so gay it can make even a life long lady lover feel like she not lesbianing right. But regular, stupid rom coms and cheesy dramas that were just as mindless and cliché as their hetero counterparts.
But the lesbian prestige seems to be loosing its luster. We’re simply not as unique or complex as our transgender brothers and sisters. I don’t blame them. I’m glad the publicity surrounding transgender folk like Chaz Bono, Caitlyn Jenner and Jazz has given their community some positive exposure.
I guess I’m just feeling a little passe. Lesbians are last season’s must have and the focus has shifted away from us. I’ve always said that we won’t be truly equal until we no longer need parades or LGBTQLMNOP Pride Month. And I guess becoming less relevent is part of that.
I know there are still gays, lesbians and bisexuals who carry their sexual orientation as a heavy secret, one they don’t feel safe to share with anyone. And I know the reaction of family and loved ones probably won’t be, “Lesbian?? Why don’t you become one of those gender transfer people and get yourself a reality show? Make something of your life?”
But in my tiny corner of the big, wide world, I feel like our reign as favorite alternative lifestyle is coming to an end, and that makes me feel a bit sad. I’d like to hope that the general acceptance we enjoyed for a while helped pave the way for others to find acceptance and, eventually, irrelevance. Because as much as it sucks to step down from the podium, it means we’re just too normal, too regular to hold that spot anymore. And who would’ve ever thunk that could have happened?