Let’s Agree To Disagree

People are often divided into different camps based on preferences – Milky Way vs Snickers, Coke vs Pepsi, “hell yeah, I love it!” vs “no way, that’s exit only!” Sometimes these divisions are also affected by where one is from – tea vs coffee, pop vs soda, Vegemite vs peanut butter.

These rivalries are friendly – the sides may disagree, but they respect the others right to make a different choice. At the other end of the spectrum are the splits that are decidedly unfriendly – things like religion or politics, and I understand that these teams feel so strongly about their beliefs that they have wars over them. Okay, I don’t actually understand killing each other to prove a point, I just understand that it’s something that happens.

Somewhere in the middle, between agreeing to disagree and death, there are those who feel that their choice is not only correct, but morally superior. I don’t intend to cast aspersions on everyone in these group, but there are certain extremists who insist on flaunting their beliefs in the most obnoxious ways.

One of these factions include the non-omnivores. Specifically, those who are not content to identify simply as vegetarians, but who want to tell you what they don’t eat – as in, anything with a face or a soul. As a Snickers fan, I’ve never had a Milky Way person look down their nose at me and sniff, “I don’t eat anything with legumes.” But I have been reminded by a vegan that the “B” in my B.L.T. was probably once somebody’s mother.

Don’t get me wrong, I think little pink piggies are adorable; but they’re also delicious! And no matter how many times I hit that rack of bacon with the defibrillator paddles, it’s not going to bring Wilbur back to life. If I walk past the butchers case and don’t bring home some of that meat-candy to fry up, then that animal will have died in vain. So really, by enjoying its crispy, smoky goodness, I’m actually honoring the pig’s sacrifice in a way no vegan ever will.

Non-smokers also tend toward the judgmental. They know almost everything about the horrors of smoking, and they’re all too willing to share that information with the only people who know more about it: smokers! Not only do those who partake suffer the immediate effects of their addiction – hacking coughs, smelly clothes and stained teeth, they get reminders in the form of warnings about emphysema, heart disease and cancer printed right on their cigarette packs. Telling a smoker that his or her habit is dangerous is about as useful as telling someone in a swimming pool that they’re getting wet.

Granted, some of these lectures come from well-meaning friends and family members who care about the smoker’s health. As one who recently switched to e-cigs, I thought I was done receiving such unsolicited and unnecessary advice. But now I find there are those who want to tell me that my electronic nicotine delivery system may be bad for me. And while I appreciate the concern and know the e-cig research isn’t all in, I think I’ll stick with what seems to be the lesser of the two evils, because I’m pretty sure the only thing worse for me than cigarettes would be deep-fried cigarettes.

I understand that vegetarians and non-smokers may get preachy because they care about the well-being of animals and their tobacco-loving loved ones, but what I don’t get is the smugness that comes from more inconsequential choices. And perhaps the best example of this is TV.

0026 Choosing Teams 03I watch a lot of TV, and I don’t apologize for it. I think that despite the number of hours I sit staring at the screen, I remain a pretty sharp cookie and have certainly murdered far more brain cells with other indulgences. And while I love television, I don’t love everything about it. For instance, reality shows aren’t my thing. But Honey Boo Boo proves that they’re obviously a thing for a lot of people, so who am I to judge?

In my opinion, TV is both wonderful and harmless, it can educate and entertain. So forgive me if you’re one of these people, but when I hear “I don’t watch television” said in that self-righteous tone that means in their head the person is thinking “because I’m better than you,” I just want to smack the superiority out of them.

What is it that makes one feel so self-satisfied by claiming not to like something that everyone else finds so enjoyable? When the conversation turns to sex, no one ever yawns and says, “I don’t have sex. Orgasms are so pedestrian.” But like the vegan who told me my B.L.T. had created an orphan, there’s always that one person who makes watching TV sound like something even monkeys find beneath them.

I’m not taking issue with anyone’s preference for books or movies … I’m sorry, I meant films – people who don’t like TV don’t watch movies, they go see films *sigh* … I’m just saying there’s no reason to be all holier-than-thou about it. In 2012 there were 314 million people in the US and 302 million TVs (which I’m guessing means there were 12 million children and babies who weren’t yet old enough to purchase a set when these numbers were tabulated). So you can feel special and different, be a rebel and a non-conformist, but in my book and in that of 96% of the rest of the population, you’re just plain wrong.

Of course, we can always agree to disagree …


  1. Slapping the superiority out of someone could be an all-day job, and then tomorrow, there’s his brother, or her sister. On the other hand, thank you again for my lovely Liebster award! If you don’t believe me, stop by and read my 78 RPM acceptance speech. 🙄



  2. 😐

    I’m so tired of living in a culture where people are looked up to for making unwise and/or immoral choices while people who make productive and, as you correctly pointed out, morally superior choices are considered undesirable somehow. It’s precisely the perversion of all human reasoning – good=bad.

    Perhaps if we lived in a country where I didn’t have to pay for your animal-fat induced heart disease and your smoking-induced throat cancer, then people like you who think it’s wrong to shoot for something higher in life might change your way of thinking (and consequently your lifestyle).

    Sincerely, someone who expected something much better from an apparently queer blog.



    1. My apologies to you and anyone else who felt I was disparaging those who make healthy lifestyle choices. That was certainly not my intent. People who read my blog know that I try to stay away from the serious and in this instance I was just having a little fun with those who offer unprompted opinions about the choices that I make. I have no argument with vegetarians, vegans, non-smokers, exercisers, 8 glasses of water a day drinkers or anyone else who will probably outlive me by a good many years.

      Also, while this is a blog and I am a lesbian, I don’t consider it specifically queer. I like to think of it as an inclusive all purpose blog where everyone is welcome and any topic is fair game.

      Finally, since I like to be liked and hope to entertain, I’m sorry that my blog and I didn’t meet your expectations. But since this post didn’t address or mention any gay issues, I don’t see how it fell short of an “apparently queer blog.” I consider my identification as a lesbian to mean I’m physically and emotionally attracted to women. Period. My preferences in any other regard may make me a morally inferior human being, but on the lesbian scale I’m fucking awesome!



  3. as a woman with asthma, I am a non smoker, but I am not preachy. If I am someplace where there is smoking, I will remove myself until I can breathe easier or I am no longer having fun. I have friends who smoke inside their houses and they know that I have asthma, so when I am having trouble I go outside and usually they follow. As for vegans and vegetarians, eh, more meat for me!! I am a Christian and I am not a you-have-to-do-what-I-say-kind, I am a live and let live kind. To each his own. That is what makes life so great!



    1. Exactly! Do your thing but be conscience of those around you and don’t get all up in other peoples’ grill with your beliefs and opinions. So simple, yet so hard for some people.

      Even with the e-cigs, which are supposed to eliminate the second-hands smoke thing, I still take it outside. At this point I don’t think anyone knows if the vapor is really harmless, and it also just seems rude to smoke inside even if it’s technically not really smoking.



  4. I’m a vegan myself but would never look down on anyone for eating meat. People have the right to do what they want. If it harms them that doesn’t matter, it’s their choice, and in the case of cigarettes they say so and so percentages die of it, but I’m also sure some live longer than the doctors would estimate because the cigarettes bring some small joy to their life, and joy is priceless when it comes to prolonging lifetime.
    And about the E-zig. Wasn’t the idea to stop second-hand smoking? Of course it’s not good for you. I figured immediately. But that’s not the point. Gummy bears are also bad for you. But you eating them doesn’t give another person cancer. E-zigs are there to remove the smoke. Badabim.

    About the bacon in the store I have one thing to say: Supply and demand. Technically if you went vegan eventually they’d have to produce that amount less meat. if a million people went vegan that would be notable.
    I’m not trying to hammer something into your head. By all means, eat a pig every day if you desire, I don’t care. I’m just pointing out what I think is flawed logic 🙂



    1. And I would never look down on someone who doesn’t eat meat. At the risk of sounding cliche, some of my good friends are vegetarians and vegans.

      Also, I was hoping no one would pick up on the supply and demand thing. But it’s not the first time I’ve used flawed logic and I’m sure it won’t be the last. In my defense, I try to restrict omitting the obvious to those occasions when I’m being less than serious. I’m not judging anyone for they eat, just giving a little poke to those who tell me about the origins of what I do without being asked for their opinion.



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