All things considered, when it comes to a lack of mental wellness, I could have done a lot worse. There are no voices telling me what to do, I’m relatively sure that everything I see actually exists and I consider being alive preferable to the alternative. Still, if I’d known the details of this whole bipolar thing, I might have signed up for something different.
It’s probably fairly normal that people who’ve been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness will question the accuracy of that finding. I’ve gone back and forth with the bipolar thing … it makes sense because there’s a bit of a family history, but how could I not have known until now? It seems so common for everyone to have something, so I couldn’t help wondering if maybe I’d been mislabeled.
I’ve been away from Blogville for almost a year and a half; but not because I wanted to be. Part of the problem is that my blog was doing fairly well (at least by my standards), and I basically choked. Remember when you were a kid and you’d learned some new stunt (riding a bike, doing a cartwheel, riding a skateboard) and wanted to have an audience to show off for? As soon as there were eyes on you though, the only tricks you could do were “I think it’s broken” and “That’s gonna need stitches.” It was kind of like that, just with less blood and fewer x-rays.
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