Depending on how old you are, you may not remember George Carlin; and depending how drunk you were, you may not remember 1972. So for the youngsters and drunksters out there, George Carlin was a well-known comedian who often pushed the boundaries of what was considered “acceptable” entertainment .
I’m pretty sure you still can’t say them on network TV in America, although I could be wrong about piss. It may be fine to say you’re pissed off, but against the rules to say “pissed my pants.” Or “pissed your pants” too, I would imagine. However, if you’re pissing someone else’s pants, you’ve got bigger problems than a using bit of salty language.
I don’t know what is or isn’t allowed in other parts of the world, but the British seem terribly fond of cunt. The word, not the body part. Although I would imagine that a fair share are fans of both.
What I do know is that even if those words are still banned from television, it isn’t illegal to say any or all of them. But that wasn’t the case in 1973 when Carlin was arrested and charged with disturbing the peace after doing his 7-words routine during a show in Milwaukee. I guess the Bill of Rights must contain a potty-mouth clause that renders one’s first amendment rights null and void in the event of felony swearing.
I’m a big fan of swearing, and whether it’s to emphasize a point or simply for the lalochezia, I practice the craft at every opportunity. Obviously I don’t have a problem with that kind of language, and I find it offensive only when it’s poorly done.
There are other words, however, words with no restrictions and available for use by everyone from toddlers to the geriatric set, that I avoid saying and prefer not to hear. So, the fact that I’m about to discuss a few of them with you is kind of a big deal.
Discharge – I’m fine with this word when it’s used in connection with weapons. Feel free to share anything and everything about discharging a gun, it doesn’t bother me a bit. But, if it involves the human body, and could be preceded by words like bloody or foul-smelling, I will get up and walk away. I have a vivid imagination and would prefer my thoughts not be polluted by the images conjured up by certain word combinations.
Panties – Panties are what little girls wear once they’re weaned off the Huggies Pull-Ups. I am a grown-ass woman and I wear grown-ass clothes on my grown-ass, like underpants and underwear. I watch a lot of murder shows on the Discover ID channel, and often hear victim described as wearing only her panties, or that her panties were missing or down around her ankles. It just sounds creepy and somewhat disrespectful to use such a cutesy, baby word to describe such serious events.
Phlegm – Maybe it’s the spelling, all those those consonants squeezed together, some silent for no good reason … sneaky bastards, but to me phlegm sounds like what it is. It’s not a true onomatopoeia, but if you showed the word to a non-English speaking person and described what it is, I bet most of them would say, “Of course! That’s exactly what it looks like it would be!” They’d be saying it in their own language, of course, but you get the idea.
Pustule – This one runs neck and neck with phlegm for me. Pus is gross, so a word that uses the word pus to describe something that is “full of pus,” (I assume that’s what it means, but I can’t look it up because I’m afraid there will be pictures) is just unnecessary. We were smart enough not to name our noses “snot expellers” and intestines aren’t “poop tubes,” so how did we drop the ball so badly with pustule??
Squirt – I liked the citrus-y, refreshing beverage and often referred to a water pistols as a squirt guns. But then a much-debated, biological occurrence in women sparked the imagination of the porn industry, and any use or mention of the word is forever tainted.
There are other words I don’t like and try not to use, but just writing about these few made me throw-up in my mouth a little, so I have to limit the discussion. There is one last word I want to mention before I finish, however, because it troubles many people, yet doesn’t bother me in the least.
That word is moist.
I’m unclear as to what it is about this word that puts it at at the top of the list for some people. If you’re one of them, perhaps you could explain it. I realize asking for that could result in ruining moist for me, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take.